Gahhh...
Wednesday, Jun. 12, 2002 - 11ish a.m.

Omgosh.. I just got someone in trouble. I'm sick of the IM spams... the ones sending you to the live webcam page then to iFriends... so I reported that person to iFriends... and they terminated the person associated with the spam. I'm well aware that that very person is probably not doing the spamming, so I'm worried about getting someone in trouble. This girl is damn hot, too... I wanted to go view... but iFriends charges you to even though they say their membership is free.. but anyway, she's the hottest girl I've seen who's not a celebrity. She looks like Britney Spears and ... her name???? Reese Witherspoon. Gahhh...

Mood: Gah.
Listening to: I'm Real then Hella Good!
About to: Fix some more diary stuff then let my mom use the comp while I get some breakyfast... Sign back on, get a password in the mail..

Posted by: Lucid-Dreamer
Main Site | DiaryLand.com | ?/!

Holy End of the World, Batman!
Wednesday, Jun. 12, 2002 - 8ish a.m.

OMG... I was almost not able to be online at all! I couldn't turn the computer on! That means no hobbies, no job and no communication! Finally I popped the floppy disc out and it turned on. My computer's wacked.

Mood: neutral
Listening to: My mom's cell phone ringing
About to: Work on stuff...

Posted by: Lucid-Dreamer
Main Site | DiaryLand.com | ?/!

Sleep schedule
Wednesday, Jun. 12, 2002 - 5:08 a.m.

I'm done with all of my entries. Now I'm going to finish putting the site up (after I reboot, stupid computer's giving me "Not Enough Memory" messages).

I got tired in the late afternoon and slept all evening. This is really fucking with my sleep. Then I got up at like 3 cuz I slept about a full night's rest and I wanted to get stuff done.

I'm feeling fine now, tho. I just felt the wacked sleeping was signifigant to write about.

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Posted by: Lucid-Dreamer
Main Site | DiaryLand.com | ?/!

Up, depressed and lonely
Tuesday, June 11th, 2002 - a.m.

I've been sleeping oddly lately. I was tired but slept all day (from 12 am to 7pm!) so I wanted to be up doing something... I'm just depressed and lonely cuz Radleigh's gone. He's leaving for florida tomorrow... My friends haven't even usually been online lately, it's sucky. I think Karrii's gone for a week...

Now I'm up, tired, don't wanna go to bed... my activites aren't fulfilling me and just chatting with a friend. ... My toe's itchy, the right foot isn't usually itchy... I just wanted to write that I'm depressed and lonely, that's all...

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Posted by: Lucid-Dreamer
Main Site | DiaryLand.com | ?/!

E-mails From Radleigh
Monday, June 10th, 2002 - p.m.

I got e-mails from Radleigh today. :) He's leaving for Florida tomorrow, but he said they had to pack up his computer friday so he couldnt' be online. He said he'll be back online by Saturday. I'm surprisinly OK. I had my crying/cutting myself phase already... maybe that's over... He said he's thinking of me and I wrote back "I love you," and he said "Thank you!" right away! So he was online getting his mail then. :)

I've been happy about us. I was worried that everything would change between us and Radleigh said they had to. But they're back to normal, what I would think of as normal, now. It's just about what I'd like us to be. It's nice. :) It's something to be happy about. See how he said "Thank you!" ... his exclamations when typing are back.. which is a sign of things being normal. :) He never spoke with his exclamations for a while, and I was worried. :)

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Posted by: Lucid-Dreamer
Main Site | DiaryLand.com | ?/!

Tattoos
Monday, Jun. 10, 2002 - Early a.m.

I was watching ElimiDate and one woman had a tattoo of a naked lady. Now I really want a tattoo of a naked fairy... I made the pic into this layout... and the butterfly I want is here... I'm thinking of also getting a claddagh(sp) somewhere, maybe toe...

Here are my plans for my birthday... Out to Chili's with the ladies for some drinks and such.
Strip club with a male friend
Getting a tattoo!
Getting my belly button pierced again!

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Posted by: Lucid-Dreamer
Main Site | DiaryLand.com | ?/!

Good Radleigh Good-bye Talk
Friday, June 7th, 2002 - Early AM

Tonight was the last night Radleigh could talk to me on the phone before he left. He told me earlier that day, when he was getting off the phone, that he would talk to me later. Then he was busy saying goodbye to friends. He finally came back and said "OK you can call for a bit." I got a little pissy and told him I didn't like how he worded that, it sounds like he didn't want to talk. So that started a fight. He said he didn't have to talk to me and it sounded like I don't appreciate his time. I said he got it wrong, I was just saying he worded it badly like he didn't want to talk to me. When he actually wanted to talk to me and if he did then he wouldn't have asked me to call at all. Well then he said he had to go and we were gonna go all mad so I started crying just because he was leaving and I didn't want him leaving with us on those terms. So he kept asking why I was crying and I wouldn't answer him cuz his tone of voice was angry...

Finally he said he's not mad, he was getting a little mad but he said he can't be mad at me. :) He was just really tired from the packing.

He said he wished that he could just say it's okay and give me the time we took to fight extra to just talk nicely, but he can't cuz he didn't have the time...

But then I was like bawling cuz he was leaving... and I told him I felt like cutting myself... so then to make me feel better we actually ended up talking for another half an hour. :) And things were good. Do you see how good he is and the things he does for me?

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Posted by: Lucid-Dreamer
Main Site | DiaryLand.com | ?/!

Private Entry
Tuesday, Jun. 11, 2002 - 4:43 p.m.

Private Entry

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Posted by: Lucid-Dreamer
Main Site | DiaryLand.com | ?/!

Christina
Tuesday, Jun. 11, 2002 - 3:09 p.m.

[Older entry]

I met this gorgeous babe. At first I was worried that "She" was lying because her pic seemed too professional and good, but I've talked to her more since. If she is really that hot I really wanna get together! She's really sexual and perfect for what I want right now. She's not the type that I would have as a real gf, cuz she has a bf but she still does stuff with girls. I like monogamous relationships, but I'm not gonna hold that against her for this fun. She's so gorgeous!

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Posted by: Lucid-Dreamer
Main Site | DiaryLand.com | ?/!

Measure of faith
Tuesday, Jun. 11, 2002 - 3:04 p.m.

[From a while ago...]

Radleigh told me that he "has a measure of faith in the future." That makes me feel good, him having faith gives me more faith. He's worried about me having faith because he doesn't want me to be sad if he doesn't come back, but of course I will, there's nothing we can do about that. But him having faith means he thinks it should happen, he believes that everything that happens is supposed to. I didn't see him as the type to have faith, but he does in that way.

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Posted by: Lucid-Dreamer
Main Site | DiaryLand.com | ?/!

Nice, long talk
Monday, June 3rd, 2002 - 2:56 p.m.

Well I had another nice, long talk with Radleigh again tonight. Of course inturrupted by Maria's questions again.) He told me he thinks he will fall in love with me really fast if/when he comes back. Isn't that sweet?

He also said that he thinks that Veronica and Lisa both have bisexual tendencies and are afraid of it.. because Veronica recoiled when I tried to touch her arm (innocently) and Lisa is frankly homophobic when it comes to girls. I just thought that was so funny.

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Posted by: Lucid-Dreamer
Main Site | DiaryLand.com | ?/!

SPIDER!!!
Thursday, May. 30, 2002 - 1:21 p.m.

OMG OMG OMG... I wish I was hallucinating! I saw the hugest spider I've.. NO Huger than I thought I'd EVER See in MY LIFE! It was like a mini tarantula! It was about 3 times the size of nomral (yet still large) spiders!

I would normally freak out so bad and need to call Radleigh.. but since this is so dire I would have to go see him... he's in Canada now and I can't do either!

Besides we aren't seeing eachother anymore. :(

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Posted by: Lucid-Dreamer
Main Site | DiaryLand.com | ?/!